Where, Oh Where, can my Monkey be?

Sorry folks, for going MIA, but it’s been one of those weeks.  It started out with a football game last Saturday.  It seems, I have created a tradition of drinking way too much on the season home opener and making a fool of myself.  I then get the pleasure of paying for these transgressions, the rest of the season.  Last year I made the mistake of having too many libations at the actual tailgate, and the fun ensued from there.  This year I decided to play it safe, and go out with a buddy to my favorite watering hole, then take a taxi back home.  Smart, right?  Noooooooo!!!  Taxi = Freedom to drink extremely irresponsibly.  All was fine until my neighbor at the bar, cheering for the opposing team, decided we should do shots.  Bad Idea!  He and his girlfriend were young and crazy: I was old and pathetic.  Things went way down hill from there, and I will be paying for it for quite sometime.

Move forward to Friday morning.  I was running behind, trying to get out the door.  I grabbed some clothes out of the dryer, or as my wife likes to call it, “the auto-iron”, and rushed out of the laundry room.  It was a narrow opening, due to a suitcase near the doorway, but I was pretty sure I had it cleared as I half-ran through the doorway when I heard a noise, not unlike a baseball bat snapping in two.  There was a white-hot flash of pain and my mind started trying to  process what had happened.  I noticed my momentum had been severely slowed, because my left leg was still behind me.  I had missed clearing the door frame by about 3/4 of an inch, so my pinky toe took the full brunt of the collision, powered by all my left leg had to offer.  There were a lot of choice words said at this point as I hopped to the nearest seat, not daring to look down at my foot.  I had a sock on, and dreaded removing it, due to the horrors I was about to see.  So I gingerly removed my sock, and slowly scanned my eyes down to my foot, expecting to find my toe hanging off the side of my foot.  To my surprise, there it was, my beautiful little pinky toe, right where it was supposed to be!

I was happy it was still there, but I assumed something was broken, so I went to the doc-in-a-box, to do my part to fuel our healthcare for profit system.  They took x-rays and told me nothing was broken, (which I’m not sure I believe, I’ll do another blog about that.  You ever wonder why they don’t give you the x-rays anymore?)  Anyway, only a deep bone bruise, which was very disappointing.  I was looking forward to having a little bitty toe cast, but oh well.  I had to settle for a piece of tape, which made things much worse.  The good news was, since it was only some kind of bruise, I would be fine for golf Sunday, right Doc? 

“No, you should not be ambulatory.”, she replied.

To which I answered, “No Mam, I had planned on driving.  We’ll just see how I feel.”

I mean seriously, a bruise?  You think that’s going to keep me off the course?  YES!!!  Over half of my foot is still blue!  If anybody gets within two feet of my foot, I start screaming.  (Hee, hee…I just noticed that pun.)

Moral of the story, these things plus a hundred others, have got me kind of down and out, and I haven’t been able to complete any blogs lately.  I’m a bit of a perfectionist, (I know it’s hard to believe if you’ve read anything on here), and the more down I am, the harder it is for me to actually finish anything.  The ideas are still flowing, and I’ve got a LOT of unfinished blogs I think are pretty interesting.  I promise I will get to work, and get these up here soon so my readers, all 3 of you, won’t be disappointed.



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