I saw some Alpaca walking through a pasture, the other day, and I wondered what they were thinking.  Here’s a possible conversation between a Brown Alpaca(BA) and a White Alpaca(WA)…It’s in Spanish, so I’ll translate.

Please ignore the Jackass in the back.

WA: Man, where are we?
BA: Georgia, I think.
WA: What is Georgia?
BA: It’s a State.
WA: What’s a State?
BA: It’s just a place that we live in.
WA: I thought we lived in that barn over there.
BA: We do, but that barn is in Georgia.
WA: Man, you are blowing my mind!  So, we are from Georgia?
BA: Nah…Nobody’s actually from Georgia.

BA: Why do people keep calling us llamas?
WA: I don’t know…What’s a llama?
BA: I don’t know, but I think they look like us.
WA: What do we look like?
BA: Ricardo Montalban.

 
BA: Hey man, you want some grass?
WA: Nah, I’m trying to quit.
BA:  Seriously? Why?
WA: I don’t know, I got some the other day, and I swear, it had some weird shit in it.
BA: Dude!!!  Did you like, freak out? 
WA: No, but my breath was pretty bad for a couple of days.

What did the priest tell the melon when he asked for advice on his upcoming nuptials?

“You know, you cantaloupe.”

So, if two shepherds were talking, and one Shepherd said to the other shepherd, “I’ll give you $20 for all your sheep.”, and then the other shepherd replied, “What, the flock?”.

  Well, I bet they’d just laugh and laugh.

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(I don’t know where this joke originated, so I don’t know whom to give credit to, but this is my favorite of all time.)

This duck walked into a hardware store.

He waddled up to the front counter and the storekeeper said, “How can I help you, Duck?”

“Do you have any fish?”, the duck asked.

The storekeep replied, “No duck, I’m sorry.  This is a hardware store.  We sell tools, nuts, bolts, screws and nails.  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any fish.”

The duck turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck went back into the hardware store and waddled up to the counter.  “Got any fish?”, the duck asked the storekeep.

“No duck, I’m sorry.  I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store.  We sell tools, nuts, bolts, screws and nails.  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any fish.”

The duck turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck came back to the hardware store.  He walked through the front door, waddled right up to the counter and asked,  “You got any fish?”

“No!”, the storekeep snapped.  “I told you we DON”T SELL FISH!  We sell TOOLS, NUTS, BOLTS, SCREWS and NAILS!  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any FISH!  If you come back around here, duck, I’ll nail your damned webbed feet to the floor!!!”

The duck calmly turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck came back to the hardware store.  He came in through the front door and waddled up to the counter.

The storekeep asked, “How can I help you…duck?”

The duck replied, “You got any nails?”

The storekeep dropped his head.  “Duck, I’m sorry.  We are waiting on a truck to come in with all of our nails, screws, nuts and bolts.  Unfortunately, we are completely out of nails right now.”

The duck replied, “You got any fish?”