(I don’t know where this joke originated, so I don’t know whom to give credit to, but this is my favorite of all time.)

This duck walked into a hardware store.

He waddled up to the front counter and the storekeeper said, “How can I help you, Duck?”

“Do you have any fish?”, the duck asked.

The storekeep replied, “No duck, I’m sorry.  This is a hardware store.  We sell tools, nuts, bolts, screws and nails.  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any fish.”

The duck turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck went back into the hardware store and waddled up to the counter.  “Got any fish?”, the duck asked the storekeep.

“No duck, I’m sorry.  I told you yesterday, this is a hardware store.  We sell tools, nuts, bolts, screws and nails.  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any fish.”

The duck turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck came back to the hardware store.  He walked through the front door, waddled right up to the counter and asked,  “You got any fish?”

“No!”, the storekeep snapped.  “I told you we DON”T SELL FISH!  We sell TOOLS, NUTS, BOLTS, SCREWS and NAILS!  We have fertilizer and lawn care supplies.  We don’t have any FISH!  If you come back around here, duck, I’ll nail your damned webbed feet to the floor!!!”

The duck calmly turned around and waddled back out the front door.

The next day, the duck came back to the hardware store.  He came in through the front door and waddled up to the counter.

The storekeep asked, “How can I help you…duck?”

The duck replied, “You got any nails?”

The storekeep dropped his head.  “Duck, I’m sorry.  We are waiting on a truck to come in with all of our nails, screws, nuts and bolts.  Unfortunately, we are completely out of nails right now.”

The duck replied, “You got any fish?”