I may be too old to be a Rock Star.
    I may not even want to be a Rock Star anymore.  I would have to travel the world doing drugs and sleeping with groupies…I don’t even know if my wife would put up with that.  I mean, she supports me and all, but that may be a little too much to ask.
   And drugs.  I am scared to death to do any kind of drugs, other than acid reducers or the government approved, and heavily taxed, alcohol.

Marijuana-No thanks!  I’m paranoid enough, I can already lay around for hours doing nothing, I always have the munchies, and many times I giggle uncontrollably at inappropriate moments.  I still think it should be legal, though.

Crank-I’m fidgety enough, and I already have trouble sleeping.  Although, if you never eat, do you really need teeth?

Cocaine-I’m not rich enough.

Crack-I’m not creative enough to come up with an elaborate panhandling story.  I think crackheads should be put into sales positions.  If there is a rock at the end of every appointment, they would be the ultimate closers!

Heroin-NEEDLES!!!

LSD-Reality is tough enough without adding extra things that aren’t really there.  Let’s see, I can either…

I’ll go with A.

Ice-Nah, it makes my Coke flat.

Ecstasy-I’m not a very good ‘umph-umph-umph’ dancer, and I don’t even know where to buy glo-sticks.

I know there are many drugs I have left out, so I apologize to any junkies out there I may have offended.
 

Moral of the story:   If you’re gonna be a rock star, do it when you’re young.  Although, a beer gut does make it easier to see the strings on your guitar.
Keep on rockin’,
Talking Monkey