It is not uncommon for me to look down and see the glowing orange, ‘trunk open’ warning light on, in the car I’m currently driving.  I’m always in and out of the trunk, retrieving sales materials, but I can’t imagine that I am not sufficiently closing the lid.  This morning, the ‘trunk open’ light came on right before I hit a speed bump.  I heard a loud thump, in the back of the car, as I bounded over the speed bump, confirming what the warning light said.  I quickly pulled over and jumped out, in the rain, to close the trunk.  Imagine my surprise, when I got to the back of the car to find the trunk was closed.

Hang in there.  I have said those 3 words more in the last year, than I ever have before.  I lost a friend, and some family this past year, and all I could say to their families was, “hang in there”.  I’ve talked to a lot of my friends and family,  going through hard times, and I said, “hang in there”.   I don’t mean to trivialize these 3 words, I’ve just been using them a lot lately…But I meant it, with all my heart, every single time .
  So, if you’re out there, and you’re going through ‘it’ right now, hang in there.  As for me, don’t worry…I’m a monkey.  Hanging in there is what I do!
Peace and love,
TM

Picture from www.bracestower.co.uk/

I just saw a painting of jumping fish, hanging over a urinal in a restaurant restroom.  The painting was numbered 220 out of 250.  I bet the artist was tired by then.  He probably started to cut a few corners.  I wonder if the late numbered pictures are cheaper than the earlier ones.  I bet the last few, maybe 245-250, are better too.  The artist probably catches a second wind, and paints with renewed vigor.  The next time I buy art, I think I’ll shoot for either 1-50, or one of the last few.

Unless this dude actually makes or repairs nets, then he is an A-1 dweeb!!!

Sorry about the picture quality, it’s hard to take pictures, cruising through stop and go traffic in the rain on I85.

The tag says NTWRKR, in case you can’t read it.

Photo provided by Harpo Inc.

Mike Tyson was on Oprah the other day, so I had to watch.  I think most sports fans, close to my age, probably have the same strong feelings that I have about Tyson.  There was a time during his peak, when I believed that no one on earth could beat Mike Tyson.  It was amazing to watch him turn his hips and body into a power factory and channel all of that energy into his devastating, fight ending, right hook, (or left for that matter).  My friends and I used to argue about how many millions of dollars it would take, for us to take just one punch from Mike Tyson.
Another great fighter, Evander Holyfield, was coming along at the same time and it appeared the two were on a collision course.  Then came Buster Douglas, Robin Givens, Mike’s posse, the Rape conviction, and it appeared this fight would never happen.  They did eventually fight a couple of times, but both fighters were well past their prime and the fights were disappointing, unless you’re into ear biting. 
So anyway, Tyson was on Oprah, spilling it all.  There’s a documentary out about him that is supposedly great, but he’s changed many of his opinions since then.  One of the topics Tyson and Oprah spoke about was biting Holyfield’s ears.  According to Tyson, he never legitimately apologized, and there was still tension between the two greats.  Either Evander was watching, or his people told him about Tyson’s comments, and he called Oprah and said he wanted to come on with Tyson.
A few days later it was surreal to see Tyson and Holyfield, sitting next to each other on the same stage, speaking semi-amicably.  You could tell there was still some tension between them, but overall it was a really nice moment.  I wish them both nothing but the best, and thank them for all the entertainment they provided us.  To me, boxing has really gone down hill since they left the scene.  I have to admit though, seeing those two sitting together, I kept thinking, maybe, just one more time.  You could see it in their eyes, they were thinking the same thing.

    I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it’s these bad economic times, but I’ve been seeing lots of dead possums on the roads lately.  Now I know you Yankees out there are screaming, “It’s Opossum, you silly rube!”.  Honestly though, the only time I’ve ever used that alternative pronunciation is when I took the lid off of  a trash can outside of my Stepbrother Eric’s house and yelled, “OhhhhPossum!!!”, just before I ran 18 miles through the woods. 
     Funny thing is, these passed possums’ faces I’ve been seeing, all looked like they were completely at peace.  It almost looked like they were smiling.  Now, I don’t know how many of you out there have ever had a run in with a possum, but one thing they are not, is ‘at peace’.
     When I was in elementary school, one of my classmates had a pet possum.  This was my first introduction to a marsupial.  Seems his pet possum had relations with a wild possum, (cause there’s a HUGE difference), and had a litter of baby possums. So my classmate asked, “You wanna see some baby possums, in their momma’s stomach?”.  Of course I couldn’t refuse.  So, after being bitten 78 times by his ‘pet’ possum, he stretched open her pouch and showed me her little nursing possumettes.  All redneck jokes aside, this was pretty amazing.  Especially when I responded ‘Yes’ to, “You wanna’ touch ’em?”
     Back before I became a pacifist, and retired from deer huntin’, I had a pretty strange experience in the woods.  It was a cold November morning, and I was in my deer stand about 30 mins. before dawn.  As light slowly worked it’s way into the woods, I saw this white-looking object moving through the woods.  I don’t really believe in ghosts, but at that time, I was pretty close to converting!  The specter kept getting closer and closer until it finally stopped about 50 yards in front of me.  It hovered there for a few minutes before finally taking off and floating up 70-100 feet up in the air in this strange zigzag pattern.  Then it just stopped and stayed in one place the rest of the morning.  I was happy, that whatever it was, hadn’t flown towards me, and I tried to remain as still as possible until the sun was up.  Surely a ghost would disappear in the daylight.  Not this one though.  When there was finally enough light for me to see, I focused in on the white blob, only to see a possum hanging upside down in a tree.  The zigzag flight pattern was the possum climbing the tree cork screw style!
     A buddy of mine told me a story one time,  about a possum he saw in the road.  He and another friend were riding down the road, late at night, when they saw something large in the road up ahead.  As they got closer they saw that it was a possum, sitting up on it’s hind-end, eating road kill.  My friends said when they got up close to the possibly cannibal possum, they couldn’t take their eyes off of him, sitting up and eating with his paws(hands), looking right back at them as they passed by.
Moral of the story, possums are evil, or at least they come across that way.  That hiss that they make when threatened, (which according to a possum, is every time they see man), is enough to scare anyone out of their shoes.  Possums always seem to have a look on their face that says, “I’m ’bout to eat yo ass alive!”.
Like I said though, these dead possums in the roads always seem to be smiling and at peace.  It must be a pretty rough world for a possum when the only relief comes from a tire zooming by at 60 MPH.  I’m not saying possums are purposely running out in front of cars, but I don’t think they are trying that hard to miss them, either.

Dear Coach Richt,
Please take it easy on Florida this coming Saturday.  They’re supposed to win it all and be the best team in the nation, but they’re really tired and possibly overrated.  The officials are on board, and are going to do all they can to keep Florida #1, but sometimes even that is not enough.  Sure, if Georgia upset Florida, it could salvage a disappointing season for the Dawgs, but think about the big picture.  We all need Florida to win out and play Alabama in the SEC Championship Game and then go on to win the National Championship.  Come on coach, think about Timmy and Urbie.  They deserve this, and who are you to take it away from them?  You can make it look interesting, but don’t actually beat our Gators.  If you play ball, we might let you win it all, sometime down the road.  Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Love,
MS

(Obviously, this letter is completely made up, by the monkey, to make fun of all the love flowing Florida’s way.  If this statement surprises you, you really should  never read again.   Again, this is not real, so please don’t sue me.)

Dank Tank VI
Wet Dream
7.5 % ABV
Sweetwater Brewing Co.
Atlanta, GA

So the guys at Sweetwater made this great beer and threw in lots of fresh-ass Chinook hops, straight off of the vine.  This is called wet hopping.  Most beers are made with dried hops, using wet hops brings in a more earthy, woody flavor.  This is a nice, malty red ale loaded with Chinook hops from the front to the middle to the back.  Great hop aroma up front, sweet and bitter first impression.  Woody hop flavor throughout with a piney, white pepper finish.  Delish!  This is a hop lover’s dream.

Saaalut!!!

9.2 Bananas

He’brew Jewbelation
Bar Mitzvah 13th Anniversary Ale
Shmaltz Brewing Co.
Saratoga Springs, NY
13% ABV

Dark brown to black with brownish tan head.
Big malty mess, chocolate and molasses aromas.

Mmmm!  If you like big malty beers with good hop balance, you’ll love this.  Sweet molasses, dark chocolate, with a lingering hop bitterness reminding you this is a beer.  I believe Yahweh had a hand in creating this one.  Go get yourself one!

L’Chaim!!!

9.75 Bananas

Recently, I took a much cherished visit to 5 Seasons Brewing Co. North.
I don’t get to go here very often, but when I do, it’s worth the wait!
Here are the beers I had…

Cask Aged Dark Star Licorice Stout-dark chocolate bitter, yeasty and nourishing.

Oktoberfest Lager-great hoppy marzen, loaded with malt and plenty of hops powering through.  This is the best of both worlds!

Big Red-smooth amber ale, kind of finishes like unsweetened tea.  Good Fall beer.

Amberliscious ESB-I used to be avoid Extra Special Bitters, until I started getting into hoppy- bitter beers.  To my surprise, ESB’s really aren’t that bitter, but they are usually pretty special.  This one is no exception.  Lots o’flavor, and it does actually finish with a good hop bitterness.  Earthy butterscotch with great hop finish.

Plan B IPA-2 years ago, I couldn’t have finished this beer.  Now I love it!  This is a freakin’ hop bomb!  Citrusy-Skunky,(in a good way), aroma. Sweet malt flavor mixed with grapefruit hops and hops and hops, with a bitter pine hop finish.  This beer could’ve carried itself from Britain to India!

Decadent Brown Ale-dark brown chocolate-nutty brown ale with plenty of hops breaking through.  This ain’t no Newcastle!  Deliciously Decadent-10 malts/10 hops, (Deca)= Mmm, mmm good.

Belgian Red– Bubble gum/candied apple with warming alcohol.  Probably shouldn’t have had the big brown before this one, still very good.

Alright, obviously all the beers were wonderful.  I recommend you get the sampler, so you can try all the draughts available.  I had Veal Bratwurst and Green Tomato Gyoza to eat, and they were both delicious.  Take a trip to Alpharetta, Sandy Springs or Atlanta.  It is a wonderful experience to try original, fresh, handcrafted beers, that you can’t get anywhere else.