It was a windy day, when I stopped in at our local Babies R’ Us.  Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I caught a flash of powder blue.  I looked up to see a rogue buggy, sneaking past my car.  As I looked around, I noticed they were everywhere!  These buggies were rolling around, trolling for their next victim.  I watched a lady pull into a parking space across from me, and take her time getting out of her new Four-Runner.  One of the buggies quickly pounced and popped the SUV in the front right quarter panel.  I tried to warn her, but it all happened too fast.  Hearing a whistling sound behind me, I spun around to see another light blue vandal, streaking across the lot.  As I panned my eyes to the right, in the direction the possessed buggy was heading, I noticed a brand new, shiny midnight black, special edition Mustang GT.  The owner had parked far enough away from all the other patrons to avoid the slightest ding from a careless driver’s errant door.  The buggies had something else in mind.  The car was way too far away for me to sprint to it’s rescue, so I had to watch, in horror, as the buggy slammed into the passenger’s side door hard.  Hard enough for the back wheels of the buggy to come off the ground and allow the rear end of the buggy to spin around, and give the mustang another scratching blow, adding insult to injury.  There were too many of these buggies and only one of me, so I did the only thing I could think of.  After making sure there weren’t any battering buggies within 100 yards of my car, I headed into the store to report the situation.  I spoke with the first associate I could find and told her of the mayhem taking place, right outside those giant glass doors, she was sitting directly in front of.  Having performed my good Samaritan duties, I went to the back of the store to pick up my daughter’s diapers.  After checking out, I walked back through the doors, to the parking lot.  To my horror, I saw the buggies were still roaming around, wreaking havoc!  The buggies must have gotten to the associates first!

“Tom, I’ve seen your track record and I know what kind of person you are.  Of course I voted for you.  I don’t know what it is, but we just can’t convince the other voters.  Something seems to be holding you back, but I just can’t put my finger on it…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gordon Biersch Variety Pack,

Gordon Biersch Brewing Co.
San Jose, CA

Alright, this is a gateway mix for those of you still drinking mass produced American Lagers.  This is also a fine group of well made craft beers! If you see this mix-pack, buy it!  There is a delicious Festbeer and Marzen, a well balanced and hoppy Czech Style Pilsner, and a hefty, sweet, Blonde Bock.
They are all good, and would be great for an Oktoberfest party.  These beers are all excellent examples of their style and you will impress beer geeks and casual beer drinkers at the same time.  One of the best variety packs I have ever purchased. You won’t be disappointed.

Saaalut!!!

9.4 bananas!

Dirty Bastard
Scotch Style Ale
8.5% ABV
Founders Brewing Co.
Grand Rapids, MI

Dark brown color, opaque.
Super malty aroma, burnt caramel?

 

He’s a Wee Heavy!  It’s like sipping Scotch, but it’s a beer!  Super malty with a hop kick, peaty finish.  Taste a little tea, coffee and dark chocolate in there. Good beer.  I wish they sold Founders in Georgia, had to buy this one in N.C.  Love it!

Saaalut!!!

9 bananas!

Warrior IPA
Left Hand Brewing Co.
Longmont, CO

Great copper color.
Not a lot of hoppy aroma, but it’s there.  I am cooking chili, so maybe my sense of smell is a little muted.  Okay, tried again and there is a great piney hop aroma.  Maybe I should just say:  Beer good or beer bad.  Beer good. 

 This beer really shoots down the walls of heartache…bang, bang.
Clean Cascadey, (minty, fresh air, light citrus),  start with strong, pine hoppy, lasting bitter finish.  Plenty of malt to back up all these hops, a very good American IPA.  If you lika’ de hops, you’ll lika’ de Warrior. 

Saaalut!!!

8.420 bananas!

We will have live updates from Live Talking Monkey Correspondent, Beak, at the Great American Beer Festival in Denver, Colorado.  Right now he is volunteering at the GABF, living the dream, with more updates to follow soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looks like the popularity of this festival is finally picking up.  They may make it after all.  I’m glad Beak’s looking back instead of forward.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beer-Con? 

“Um yes, this is my first time here.  Which way to the beer?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Doh!!!  What do you mean there is actually no such thing as Duff Beer?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here it is, the Great American Beer Festival.  Looks pretty big.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are a few of the beers our correspondent sampled…

 

 

Mmm.  That looks pretty tasty!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’d hate to be stuck up there without a paddle…Hope the beer’s good!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pretty Hoppy?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Atlanta’s in the house!  I believe that’s Kevin McNerney, (formerly of Sweetwater),from the 5 Seasons off of 285 and Roswell Rd.  They have two more locations: One on Old Milton in Alpharetta and a new one farther into Atlanta.  Good to see them represented out West.  I wonder what competitions they entered?

 

 

 

 

And now for some of the characters attending the GABF…

 

 

 

“Yo queiro mas cervesa, mucho mas cerveza!  Ehhhh, Heh Heh Hehhh!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Daaa Beers!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Okay, I give up.  Where is he?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3 penguins and Hot Rod???

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s check back in with Beak…

 

 

 

I believe our top correspondent has lost his focus.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Okay, you girls are German.  Who wants to play ‘hide the sausage’?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beak’s final report was brief, and summed up the whole night perfectly,

 “Drunk.”

 

For those of you interested, please check out the GABF’s website…

http://www.greatamericanbeerfestival.com/

I usually stop and help turtles, technically terrapins, cross the road when I see them, but I had to draw the line at I-85.  He was about a quarter of the way across the first of two lanes on the northbound side when I swerved to give him a wide berth.  I watched behind me and noticed the car about a hundred yards back ease over to the right to straddle the little fellow.   I wonder what that’s like for the terrapin, seeing a car barrel down on you, only to zoom over your head at 80 miles an hour.  Does he freak and go into his shell?  Or does he just keep on trucking, balls to the wall?  Well, I guess I should say balls to the shell.  When I went past him he never slowed down, and he was moving much faster than his reputation would imply.  I wonder if he knew the risk when he started this suicide mission, or if he just thought, “Hmm, this is different.”  I think he knew.  From the look on his face, and the effort he was putting into his ‘run’, I think he had an idea of the danger.

The bad news is, there was a large group of cars well behind the one car behind me.  I think he could have beat them to the median if he kept up his breakneck pace…Maybe.  But if he hesitated, well, that would be bad.  I like to think that he knew what he had to do, and he made it across.

As far as the southbound lanes, that’s anybody’s guess.  I didn’t see any turtle remains on the way home, so maybe he’s okay.

Sorry folks, for going MIA, but it’s been one of those weeks.  It started out with a football game last Saturday.  It seems, I have created a tradition of drinking way too much on the season home opener and making a fool of myself.  I then get the pleasure of paying for these transgressions, the rest of the season.  Last year I made the mistake of having too many libations at the actual tailgate, and the fun ensued from there.  This year I decided to play it safe, and go out with a buddy to my favorite watering hole, then take a taxi back home.  Smart, right?  Noooooooo!!!  Taxi = Freedom to drink extremely irresponsibly.  All was fine until my neighbor at the bar, cheering for the opposing team, decided we should do shots.  Bad Idea!  He and his girlfriend were young and crazy: I was old and pathetic.  Things went way down hill from there, and I will be paying for it for quite sometime.

Move forward to Friday morning.  I was running behind, trying to get out the door.  I grabbed some clothes out of the dryer, or as my wife likes to call it, “the auto-iron”, and rushed out of the laundry room.  It was a narrow opening, due to a suitcase near the doorway, but I was pretty sure I had it cleared as I half-ran through the doorway when I heard a noise, not unlike a baseball bat snapping in two.  There was a white-hot flash of pain and my mind started trying to  process what had happened.  I noticed my momentum had been severely slowed, because my left leg was still behind me.  I had missed clearing the door frame by about 3/4 of an inch, so my pinky toe took the full brunt of the collision, powered by all my left leg had to offer.  There were a lot of choice words said at this point as I hopped to the nearest seat, not daring to look down at my foot.  I had a sock on, and dreaded removing it, due to the horrors I was about to see.  So I gingerly removed my sock, and slowly scanned my eyes down to my foot, expecting to find my toe hanging off the side of my foot.  To my surprise, there it was, my beautiful little pinky toe, right where it was supposed to be!

I was happy it was still there, but I assumed something was broken, so I went to the doc-in-a-box, to do my part to fuel our healthcare for profit system.  They took x-rays and told me nothing was broken, (which I’m not sure I believe, I’ll do another blog about that.  You ever wonder why they don’t give you the x-rays anymore?)  Anyway, only a deep bone bruise, which was very disappointing.  I was looking forward to having a little bitty toe cast, but oh well.  I had to settle for a piece of tape, which made things much worse.  The good news was, since it was only some kind of bruise, I would be fine for golf Sunday, right Doc? 

“No, you should not be ambulatory.”, she replied.

To which I answered, “No Mam, I had planned on driving.  We’ll just see how I feel.”

I mean seriously, a bruise?  You think that’s going to keep me off the course?  YES!!!  Over half of my foot is still blue!  If anybody gets within two feet of my foot, I start screaming.  (Hee, hee…I just noticed that pun.)

Moral of the story, these things plus a hundred others, have got me kind of down and out, and I haven’t been able to complete any blogs lately.  I’m a bit of a perfectionist, (I know it’s hard to believe if you’ve read anything on here), and the more down I am, the harder it is for me to actually finish anything.  The ideas are still flowing, and I’ve got a LOT of unfinished blogs I think are pretty interesting.  I promise I will get to work, and get these up here soon so my readers, all 3 of you, won’t be disappointed.

Peace,

TM

Wells Banana Bread Beer
5.2% ABV
Wells & Young’s Brewery Co.
Bedford, UK

Hey, I’m a monkey.  How could I resist?

Color-Somewhere between gold and brown, hard to call.

Aroma-Very Banana-ish.

Ok, here’s the deal.  Not telling the whole story is not the same thing as lying.  Therefore, I choose not to review beers that I don’t like.  I admire any brewery going out on a limb and making beer, and who am I to condemn them.  Besides, people have very different tastes.  A buddy of mine, and regular reader, (thanks for reading Mingo), tried a beer I liked a lot and highly recommended, (Lagunitas Brown Shugga’), and he didn’t really care for it.  In fact, he may still have some in his fridge, although I highly doubt it.  Anyway, I digress. 
Moral of the story, this is not one of my favorites, and I love bananas.  It is a good clean, crisp ale, with a pretty overpowering artificial banana taste.  Try it for yourself, but the name and description promised more than the beer delivered.  But don’t get me wrong, I didn’t pour it down the drain.  I never judge a beer completely until the last sip!

salut.

5 natural and artificial bananas.

The seagull’s shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store in Manistee,Mi , and helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then, he’s become a regular. He always takes the same type of chips.

The Manager thinks it’s great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that’s good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull’s stolen bags of Doritos because they think it’s so funny.  However, the Manager did say, ‘This is  Michigan , and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pack o’ ‘Bud’ to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it.’