The latest craze, and I do mean craze, in cheap advertising annoys me to no end.  If you haven’t seen these people standing, or dancing on street corners, pedaling  everything from tax services to precious metals purchasing, then you live on the moon…I bet it’s nice there.  Nothing makes me feel more secure, than entrusting my taxes to a homeless person in a foam rubber Statue of Liberty costume.  I don’t know what these places pay their talent, but it’s not enough, and too much, at the same time.

I know that I am not in these stores’ demographic, but seriously, who sees these poor people, standing out in the elements for hours on end, dancing or sign spinning, and thinks, “This is somebody I want to do business with!”

Now granted, I have seen this idea work in the short term.  When a certain pizza or sandwich place, or a cell phone store has a grand opening, I have no problem with the people that actually work in the establishment, coming out and showing their enthusiasm by holding signs and barking at potential customers.  These glorified pawn shops and tax services advertise like this non-stop!  At least the tax service loonies are only seasonal.

Look, I don’t think I’m better than anybody, liar, but I wouldn’t do this, I wouldn’t make somebody else do this, and I will not do business with a ‘company’ that does this.  I guess I’ll have to go sell me booty somewhere else.

   Man, what an honor!  When I pulled into the Kroger parking lot, I had no idea that I was about to have a brush with greatness.  He pulled up and parked right next to me!  He looked like a regular guy: Who knew? 

I jumped out of my car, ran up to him, introduced myself and congratulated him.  He was so modest!  He acted like he had no earthly idea what I was talking about!  I thanked him for his service, and asked what I could do to be more like him.  He was obviously embarassed by all the attention, because he nervously turned, and ran towards the store. 

   Someday, maybe I’ll be in the running.  I don’t even know how to enter the contest.  I guess you have to be nominated or something.

It says "World's Greatest Dad", and smells good too.